Blog theme--seeking wisdom

Here are some thoughts inspired by the This I Believe series:

I believe in asking for directions. Growing up, every summer our family went on a two week summer vacation. We didn’t have a lot of money, so we would economize by staying at campsites, or on rare occasions, not too expensive motels. We would also tend to plan too many activities, and because we were “in a hurry” to get to someplace, would get lost. (These were the days before GPS or Google Maps.) Usually my dad would be driving at such times, and he would never stop to ask for directions; he would keep driving forward, believing that “we would get there eventually.” At such times my mom would not be happy. She’d say, “Stop Bob! Ask for directions! Turn around!” But he kept going, and only when all hope was lost reluctantly back track in the direction we should have gone.

Years later, when I was a junior in college, I spent a semester abroad in Greece. As part of our educational experience, during holidays (and they happened quite often), the school would shut down and we were told to leave the city, go out, and find our way using the Greek phrases we had been studying. On one of these trips I decided to go visit a city in the northwest, Ionnina. But I didn’t know the way. I didn’t even know where was the bus station to Ionnina. However, I had learned the phrase, “Apo pou fevgei ton leoforenon ston Ionnina?” (Where is the bus to Ionnina?) And I knew from experience that I had to ask at least three different people to make sure I was going the right way. Greek people are very friendly and feel obligated to answer you whenever you ask them a question. But an answer doesn’t necessarily have to be the “right” answer. So I kept asking, and after a time I did find my way to Ionnina. When I got there I was somewhat disappointed and did not find the place to be what I expected. But on the way back to Athens I realized that the journey, not the destination, was the real gain.

I took this attitude and practice of asking for directions with me when I went to Taiwan. When I arrived, I spoke not a word of Chinese, could not recognize a single character. But I asked, and I learned, and I traveled. Sometimes I did not reach my intended destination. Nevertheless, what was more valuable was the journey, and the unexpected pleasure of making a connection with a stranger whenever I asked for directions, receiving a warm smile and note of encouragement.

One time I went on a trip to China’s Sichuan Province. We were hosted by a university, and they hired a driver and took us to visit the world famous panda research center. However, with roads going up every where, and seemingly overnight, our driver got lost on the way. We kept circling around and around an intersection on a newly built freeway. I wondered why he didn’t stop and ask for directions. Then I noticed that there were people standing along the side of the road, holding signs which read, “Wen Lu,” which literally means “Ask Road.” These were people who could tell you directions! So I asked the driver why we didn’t ask these people. He said these people would only give you directions if you paid them, and they might even purposely tell you the wrong way, and then when you were lost want even more money for the “correct” information. We didn’t ask, but fortunately our driver finally found the way.

I believe in asking for directions. Sure there are some who won’t tell you the right way, or will want unreasonable payment. Others may politely tell you “a way” that may not be “the way.” When you are lost you can stubbornly keep going forward and maybe figure out the way on your own. But for me, I’d rather ask along the way; the journey is more important than the destination.